When the fine wind blew in, I was sitting on a soft leather chair, stirring a spoonful of oil-splashed chili.
This kind of seasoning, which is a mixture of solid and liquid, always makes me hesitate: if there is too much solid, the color will be too dark and not bright enough; but if there is too much oil, it will look a bit greasy. Of course, no matter which side this balance slides towards, the final taste is always spicy. If you are lazy to balance it, it is also a good choice to mix it directly in the noodle soup.
Scoop up some noodle soup with a spoon and put it in your mouth to moisten your dry mouth, and then you can eat the noodles with peace of mind. Sometimes, I am very keen to curl a certain amount of noodles in the spoon, and then eat it in one bite with a little soup. But as my phone increasingly occupies the limited ability of my other hand, in the end, I have also become accustomed to picking up a few strands and eating them directly to the end.
Maybe I put too much chili, or it has been too warm recently. In a short while, sweat dripped from my forehead, nose, and eyebrows, and a few drops even fell directly on my glasses. Suddenly, it seemed like there was a filter in front of my eyes, and the images that entered my eyes became distorted and unbalanced.
This damp feeling is uncomfortable, and in order to prevent sweat from falling into the food, I had to put down the objects in my hand and use a tissue to wipe my face and take off my glasses. However, the amount of sweat was larger than I thought, and a few wipes couldn't restore the comfortable dryness. I leaned back and rubbed the lenses more carefully, while waiting for the moisture to dissipate a bit.
Repetitive mechanical activities are always tiring and breed confusion. In the unconscious moments, my thoughts also rolled and surged without restraint:
2023, it always feels like it's passing too quickly. It's so fast that before I could react, the entire almanac has been torn clean; it's so fast that when I recall the bits and pieces of the beginning of the year, it still feels like yesterday, and the scenes, events, and emotions are all vividly remembered.
To be honest, I think this year has been a failure. The growth of my abilities did not meet expectations, and I am still confined to my original circle without any breakthrough achievements. In terms of personality, there seems to be little progress. Interacting with others is still chaotic, and my actions are fragmented. Perhaps due to the pressure, not only can I not follow my own expectations, but I have regressed and become more restless and irritable.
Speaking of the matter itself, I don't think it's too bad. Although my inner strength is still not strong enough, after sufficient exercise, there has been significant improvement in my physical fitness. In terms of work, I stumbled and completed a relatively important project, which can be considered as "starting and finishing". Even though I am not very satisfied with my technical progress, and this project can be considered the culprit of all the misfortunes this year, I don't want to completely ignore the overall gains from the development process.
And then, as the year was about to smoothly pass the last stretch, on December 13th, the day after my birthday, and the second day after the final release of the last major version I worked on, I received an invitation from HR, and successfully resigned on the 22nd of the same month.
So even when looking at it comprehensively, no matter how I try to make up for it, the overall feeling is still mediocre. Thinking back to the brief conversation I had with the leader who took over the project, I remember discussing how I viewed the project. I remember my answer at the time was: I did my best. Just like back then, I omitted countless details and only handed in three light words as an answer. At this moment, I still want to use these three words as a summary of the past year, 365 days. Even though most of the time, on the balance of the situation, "I did my best" is as light as these three words themselves.
I put my glasses back on, shook my hair, but didn't want to sit up straight and continue facing the remaining food in front of me. Instead, I continued to look outside the door. At this moment, I have plenty of time, enough to be idle in every sense of the word; and the noodle shop is empty, so the boss probably wouldn't mind if I occupied his space a little longer.
To be honest, rather than comparing life to the boxed chocolates that I have only eaten a few times, I prefer to think of it as the half bowl of noodles with soup and water left on the table. The taste is shallow, with a smooth texture, not delicious, but not unpleasant either. Occasionally, the biggest crisis is probably when the ramen masters forget to read the notes and sprinkle a large handful of cilantro as a garnish based on muscle memory.
Fortunately, cilantro can be picked out slowly, and in terms of taste, I can mix in some chili to find a bit of excitement. Even if I get tired of eating, I can put down the utensils in my hand and rest for a while.
"In the gap between resting and eating noodles during a long holiday, take a little lazy break" - it sounds a bit awkward, but it's really interesting.
The gentle breeze twirled and slipped in, warm, but mixed with a hint of winter's coldness, making people feel comfortable enough to want to close their eyes.
The sunlight generously spread warmth and light, as if coating everything in a brilliant glow, shimmering and attracting those trapped in cages.
I stretched my body a little, adjusted the glasses on my nose, and continued to eat the noodles.
-November 20th, Year Gui Mao, Auspicious: Start work, bathe, and travel.